I am not in town (or country... har har, bad pun) so I am at the mercy and whims of public wifi during my travels. I couldn't post yesterday due to being actually on a plane and not wanting to fork over the money for inflight wifi because I already gave them shit tons of money and should be able to connect for fucking free. Grrrr... Moving on...
Over the past few months, my Type 3 husband and I have had a lot of very honest discussions with each other, and one of the things he wishes I dressed sexier. He would prefer if my body were on display more often. He doesn't like when my outfits have zero sex appeal. This hurt to hear, because I consider dressing slutty to be beneath me and disrespectable. It's like he asked me to set my own dignity aside and look like a dumb whore.
I know that's a very negative judgment I have that isn't 100% true, but I can't seem to let go of the idea that a woman who puts her body parts front and center has little else to offer a man, and not only lacks intelligence, but must also not be very discriminating with sexual partners. Obviously not every single person who dresses that way is dumb and sleeps with everyone, but it's a judgment I struggle with. It seems like the women who AREN'T true to that judgment, are more the exception than the rule.
But I digress. My husband wants me to dress like Peg Bundy for some reason, and I am compromising (the same way I got him to start stepping up his game as well. If I can tell him to wear a suit, he can tell me to wear this purple leopard knit atrocity).
You can tell he's T3 in that he likes animal print, and my chunky black leather boots with zippers and buckles. Kind of like you can tell I'm T4 because I prefer tailored, well-fitting suits and point-collared shirts (freshly pressed, and starched). Our preferences come out even in how we wish others would dress.
The sweater dress/tunic (probably a tunic for anyone who isn't short) is from the Dressing Your Truth Type 4 store. The leather boots are Hush Puppies, and I'm just wearing basic black leggings from Fabletics. I bought the snowflake necklace on a whim from my local drug store.
Not an extraordinary outfit of any kind. Pretty boring. But my boobs are up and out, just like he wants, and the clothing is skin tight, also just like he wants. Sigh.
Obviously we discussed a lot of other things that are much more important, but this did come up, and with a topic like infidelity, it can seem like he was blaming me for his own unfaithfulness, but if you could hear the whole conversation, you'd know that in context, it was not him blaming me. It's just one of a million changes we're doing together to rebuild. It is hard for him to even admit that he wishes I wore sexy things more often. But instead of brushing aside his needs and wants just because I don't agree or understand them or think they're insignificant or even stupid, I'm going to acknowledge them as valid and make sure he never feels like they're not important. I'm going to prioritize his needs and wants just as much as I would prioritize my own. Even if it's small. (Though this sweater is soooo small and tight, even I had to size up to a medium).