On Sunday evening, I was physically assaulted and choked and thrown down.
I am physically okay enough, but I am not okay on the inside. I am bruised, and my voice sounds like I've been chain-smoking for 87 years, but internally, I feel like I could die. I am also ANGRY. So angry, and hurt, and angry, and fucking angry. AND ANGRY.
I'm currently weighing my options for self-defense. I will NOT let this happen to me again. I will NOT be powerless and sit around and feel sorry for myself.
Pepper spray? Taser? Pocket knife? Small handgun?
I used to carry mace with me. I used to make sure if I was walking home late at night, I had my keys between my knuckles to fight off anyone, or once, I just kept a screwdriver (like the tool, not the drink) just in my hand, to use as an impromptu weapon if necessary. I have gotten comfortable and trusting now though, in my white-picket-fence life. And it has cost me.
I am hurt, afraid, and angry.
I turn 35 in 3 days. Happy birthday to me. I need a fucking drink.