Things that are a terrible combination:
I named him Reginald. I like really stuffy, proper names for jovial and light-hearted people/things. So I took Reginald out for a beer before breaking the news that he can't stay with me. Sorry bro.
Of course, the fact that I named him and then went out for drinks meant I was, alas, ATTACHED.
I mean, look at him. I had no choice. Reginald won me over. Plus everyone at the bar loved him. I can't take this pretzel purse out anywhere without people asking where I bought it.
Reginald the Pretzel Purse is not now my drinking buddy. (Wait, isn't drinking how I ended up here in the first place? I need to rethink this)
I carry this thing around everywhere when I just need to bring a chapstick, ID, and debit card. It even held my cell phone! Well, it held my old cell phone which is smaller than the Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge that I recently upgraded to after my old cell phone took a dunk in the toilet. Again. I drop so many phones into toilets. I can't even blame that one drinking (seriously, I was sober every time I broke a phone). But the S7 Edge is water resistant, AND I bought a water proof case for it too, for EXTRA REINFORCEMENTS. Because I know myself.
Cheers to you, Reginald. May you never be dropped in a toilet.