Time to talk about things that are unholy and wrong.
In the beginning of January, I decided to try Skinny Mint's 28-day detox (or "Teatox" as they call it). There are a lot of similar Teatox products out there, but I chose theirs simply because theirs was the only one that mentioned that it did in fact taste good. Not that the others said theirs tasted bad; it just wasn't mentioned at all, which I regarded with suspicion.
The cost was about $55 (includes free shipping) so it's not really cheap, but I can easily blow $90-100 on dining out, so I can handle $55 for 4 weeks of something that was supposed to actually be "healthy" for me...
...assuming that 4 weeks of the most foul bowel movements you've ever seen is somehow "healthy". It was like an exorcism in there. You needed a hazmat suit and gasmask to go in there afterwards.
This week's Fashion Disaster photo is a little more recent than the others, in that it is only a few years old, but clearly before I realized which colors are all wrong for me. Granted, I don't look TERRIBLE in this Easter family photo, buuuut... there's a lot of things going wrong here. Where to begin... I mean, besides the fact that this photo was taken with a point-n-click on my front porch really quick and this was in fact the "best" of the several I took. DAMN IT, I'M TRYING TO FABRICATE A PERFECT LIFE TO POST ON THE INTERNET, SMILE AND LOOK AT THE CAMERA, SPAWN! Clearly my kids don't realize how important my blog is. /sarcasm
Wow, Your Angry Facebook Meme Really Changed All of My Political Views! Thanks, Distant-Relative-I-Don't-Really-Know!
Just in case you doubt I'm as old as I say I am, here is photographic proof: I am old enough to have been wearing chokers the FIRST TIME they were popular. Okay, that's incorrect, because that was probably the Victorian Age. Actually, it's probably been popular during the middle ages too. But you know what i mean... I have seen stupid trends recycle themselves from my god-awful teen years.
See this? This is me, yet again in a lovely shade of Prozac brown (what was wrong with me?), layered chokers, a plaid skirt that is also various shades of brown (covered by my book), glasses that are all wrong for me, and the kind of exhausted look that can only come from memorizing 1,847,243 SAT vocabulary words that would determine the quality of my entire post-secondary education options and therefore my future earnings and career stability. No pressure.
I will be spending the rest of the day Netflix and NOT chilling (what can I say, I'm really more about "Amazon Prime and Commitment" than "Netflix and Chill"), but there will be naps involved.
I apologize ahead of time for any strange texts I send. In fact, someone come take my phone away from me. I can't be trusted while high.
This is a day early, I know. I accidentally posted this and don't know how to *un* post it without deleting, so we're just going to have to deal with my error. Feeling really foggy and stupid lately.
Of all the awful colors and hair styles I've had throughout my *adventurous* teen and college years, this is the worst. I was actually hesitant to post this one because it's THAT unflattering. I don't know how to describe this color, but it's like a vat of peroxide angry-fucked a fluroescent light fixture and created an unwanted love-child, and then I decided to wear the afterbirth on my head. (I will not apologize for my description of my haircolor because it really is that gross.) PROOF:
Tracy is a sometimes-working software engineer, all-the-time mother and wife, long-distance runner, biracial, shoe-loving, multi-lingual, world traveling, wannabe fashionista who drinks entirely too much coffee. She lives in the Seattle area and enjoys making babies and judging people.
Favorite Brands and Resources
The Real Real
Rent the Runway
Colour Pop (Cosmetics)
Society 6 (art and accessories)
Deck of Scarlet (Make Up)
Ipsy (Make Up)
Joss & Main